Raw, flawed, mentally ill women
When shit is fucked up, I like to read fucked up shit
At the start of July I read Animal by Lisa Taddeo and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.
The book, which was released in 2021, starts with a very public suicide, and follows with all manner of depravity, from murder to reproductive coercion, sexual assault, betrayal, stalking and more. It's the story of a woman who, having endured a lifetime of cruelty at the hands of men, decides to enact her revenge, and all the people who get caught up in that revenge. Much of the book takes place in Topanga Canyon, site of the first Manson murder, a place filled with dusty outsiders and people too weird for LA, and like all the books I love, the setting is almost its own character.
I've written before about how, when shit is fucked up, I like to read fucked up shit (movies too). As I was reading Animal I was staying in a weird 1970s A-frame house in Granbury, Texas, having fled Houston after enduring 48 hours without power after Hurricane Beryl. I've been through hurricanes before but Beryl did a real number on my mental health. Nothing better to read when fleeing a hurricane than a book about a woman trying to flee her own traumas.
The book is not perfect but I was so obsessed with it that I immediately went to the books and literature subreddits to see if anyone else had discussed it. There were threads about Taddeo's nonfiction book, Three Women, but very few about Animal, except one comparing it to the work of Ottessa Moshfegh, also a favorite of mine. One comment lists similar authors writing work "centered around raw, flawed, mentally ill women." Several of the books listed in the comment were already on my to-read list.
It's definitely a theme I am drawn to, and some of my favorite books over the past few years have featured unlikable female narrators. (It helps that I decided to focus on reading books not written by cis white men.) Some of my favorites below, and a warning that all of these books deal with content warning-worthy themes.
Eileen
Ottesssa Moshfegh is a master of the unlikeable, neurotic female narrator. Eileen follows a woman who works in a boys' prison in a suburb of Boston in the 1960s. At least, we think. Eileen is an unreliable narrator (her name isn't even really Eileen.) She gobbles laxatives, has sexual fantasies about her wards and coworkers, and, at one point in the novel, sleeps in a car covered in frozen vomit. Revenge is also a central theme of this book.
The Guest
I loved Emma Cline's first novel, The Girls, which was partially inspired by the Manson groupies who eventually went to jail for murder. The Guest takes place on the opposite coast, following a professional girlfriend who, after making a social faux pas, has to grift her way through the summer on Long Island. This includes breaking into homes to steal drugs and food and using anyone who comes across her path. The stories are very different, but this novel reminded me so much of the short story The Swimmer by John Cheever.
I read this book last summer, and shortly after I finished, Rex Heuermann, the suspected Gilgo Beach Killer (also known as the Long Island Serial Killer) was arrested. I then read Robert Kolker's incredible, victim-focused book Lost Girls, about the Gilgo Beach victims, nearly all of them sex workers. It was a fascinating pairing.
The Pisces
A depressed and lonely grad student moves to Venice Beach to dog- and house0sit for her sister after a devastating breakup. While on a late night beach stroll, she meets the man of her dreams, who happens to be half-merman. Written by the woman behind the viral Twitter account @sosadtoday, The Pisces plays with perception and reality, and yes, there are sex scenes.
The Bitch
A brutal, difficult novel about the hardscrabble life on Colombia's Pacific coast, where the main character has lost cousins to the sea and several pregnancies due to miscarriage. Desperate for something to care for, she develops a tenuous relationship with a stray dog. As to who "the bitch" in the title refers to is up to interpretation.
Sea State
While exploring the life of rig workers on the North Sea, writer Tabitha Lasley immerses herself in their shore leave culture—long nights at the bar, raves, drugs, sex. The longer she spends in the proximity of this primarily male industry, the more reckless she becomes.
Valentine
Though the main character of this novel, a 14-year-old girl who is sexually assaulted and left for dead on an Odessa oil patch, is not an agent of chaos herself, what happens to her wreaks havoc on the community, where the girl's victimhood is debated in the court of public opinion. Told through a set of interconnected narratives, the book explores the reverberations of violence and the fleeting nature of justice. There is one scene that takes place at a roadside motel swimming pool that still sticks with me.
If you like dark, flawed, unreliable female narrators or characters I'd love to hear your recommendations too.
Speaking of reading, a few months ago I converted an unused corner of our living room into a dedicated reading nook, complete with a chaise from Ikea covered in lots of squishy pillows. The dogs love to lay there with me, and I can't wait for winter when I can curl up with a cozy blanket.
For the day job, I interviewed a Houston man who grew up in the cult The Family International, previously known as the Children of God. Members of the cult, discouraged from holding normie jobs, would use skills like making balloon animals to busk for cash and to "witness" to potential recruits.
Now, DJ Morrow is using those balloon-twisting skills to make large-scale sculptures that explore his trauma of being raised in the cult.
That feeling of hope lately? Yeah I feel it too. A few days ago a friend made a joke about "time travelers fixing the timeline". Then I saw this post about how, in April 2016, a weasel chewed through a cable and shut down the Large Hadron Collider. Suddenly the past 8 years make so much more sense.
Greenspoint Mall, the north Houston shopping center also known fondly as "Gunspoint," closed last week after 48 years. Craig Lindsey's collected remembrances of the mall called to mind my own childhood hangout, Crossroads Mall in Oklahoma City, where I spent many custody weekends with my dad, gawking at people. It was a cheap place to eat and be entertained for a single father who worked as a mechanic.. Later, as a teenager, I would beg my mom to drop me off so I could hang out until closing time. It wasn't the fancy mall—that was Penn Square—but it was close to home and safe enough for an awkward, outcast kid. Look at the gorgeous '80s goodness above.
Check out these Twin Peaks-themed tarot cards. Sadly, they're out of production but if you know where to buy them, let a girl know.
That's it, thanks for reading, I appreciate you. If you liked this email please share with your friends.